Algorithmic perfection, one of a kind
Synesthesia, trauma, and genius collide
Neurodivergent pathways intertwine
Beautiful mind that finds the patterns and rhymes
Pineal surges while temporal lobe seizures shake
In the collision of the senses, sensory perception can break
Inside me is where understanding resides
A league of my own, no blueprint to find
The perfect result with failure as fuel
An appetite for listening and following the rules
So that I learn when and how to break them
A hunger for order and honoring their lines
So I know when and how to cross them in perfect time
When these forces merged I took form
I have insatiable hunger to understand
Concepts created by defying the norm
Couple that with an appetite for failure
The taste to me is pure sublime
As discipline sharpens the edges of time
Crafting fragments makes my brokenness whole
A symphony of meaning in the chaos
The architect’s soul
I smell the colors of each mistake
Taste the sound each error makes
I see the shapes of unheard and unspoken words and songs
And crave the feeling of where I went wrong
I can smell inconsistency
I can taste disharmony
But the only thing I can hear is me
I can see the lines I need to draw
By what I never really actually saw
Where absence defines the shape
My intuition then guides
Where my sight cannot trace
A good girl, obedient, quiet and still
A bad girl, insolent, rebelling by my own will
A good girl, gentle, with a heart so pure
A bad girl, reckless, rebelling for sure
A good girl, careful, with thoughts that conform
A bad girl, daring, rewriting the norm
A good girl, calm, with patience in mind
A bad girl, untamed, leaving restraint behind
A good girl, humble, always composed
A bad girl, fierce, in chaos I’m enclosed.
A good girl, silent, waiting my turn
A bad girl, daring, in passion I burn
A good girl, soft spoken, pure in grace
A bad girl, untethered, I challenge your space
Neither good nor bad, I’m a soul here to learn
Two wolves tamed
From my 1,000 petals I can choose
I balance what I give by what I lose
And by lose I mean my choice to surrender
A quiet release where peace may enter
Synesthesia, trauma, and genius walk in
The bartender smirks “Where do you begin?”
Trauma orders whiskey bitter and cold
Synesthesia laughs “Make mine taste like gold”
Genius grins, “Just water I’m fine”
Then brews a plan to distill the divine
I have been forged in the fire of pain
Yet I am mocked for my restraint
Because I refuse what pulls them in
They laugh at my own will
As if me saying no is a cardinal sin
See it as a challenge or fight
In my discipline I remain whole
Connected to myself, I know my own soul
I have an appetite for failure
Discipline is my craving
Do it again
Again
Again
Don't lend me a hand
I don't need you to see
That’s what sets you apart from me
Let me feel the pain
Let me know more than just its name
Over, and over, and over I tread
Tracing paths where failure led
The rhythm of discipline burns in my veins
Repetition is the sincerity in my refrain
The sting of discipline shows me grace
A reminder that failure is where I am embraced
Like a wanderer entering tribes unknown
I don’t quite belong but through discipline, I am shown They welcome me in though I stand alone
For in my consistency I’ve found a home
For in my real struggle I’ve found my space
I earned my place.
Victory doesn't mean that much to me
Success is a probability
There is nothing outside of me that's motivating
It's the feeling of failure that's captivating
Okay I hit the bullseye sharp and true
But the mark itself feels hollow, too
My strike was clean, my aim precise
Yet I craved a target beyond the device
Victory doesn’t fulfill what I seek
Wisdom is the service that makes me complete
But here's where fools have failed
For this is what separates truth from the veiled
The only voice you should ever hear is your own
Your thoughts don't take a different tone
The spirit you speak to is the one that's in you
What you call upon is your own experience true
No need for validation from outside
For in your own flesh, the answers reside
There is no secret code no hidden key
Only the patterns of your own history
Your life unfolds like an algorithmic stream
Each choice a thread each moment the seem
That weaves a tapestry of your own life story
Words are not just spoken
They are geometric shapes
Each angle reveals a meaning
A truth that only the heart translates
Hidden lines that actively create
A story will be told not bound by time
Pure intentions that live
Will breathe the rhyme
As the third eye blends the senses
Causing understanding to awaken
And without the mix
One will remain blind to what truly exists
In the fusion truth is revealed
A world unseen yet deeply felt
They call it a mystery, a curse, or a flaw
But in truth, it's understanding universal law
They could not smell the words
See the sounds
Taste the truth
Feel the ground
Hear the pulsing rhythm unknown
Beats of the heart
of the architect's soul
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