I believe in turning “you are” from a weapon into a mirror reflecting kindness. Imagine the shift if every “you are” was a reminder of strength, potential, and possibility, instead of a reason to blame or criticize.
Instead of pointing fingers, we use “you are” to remind others of their worth and the impact they have. It’s about recognizing that the power to lift someone else lies in how we speak to them, how we choose to see them.
I believe in turning “I am” from self praise into honest accountability, because true growth starts with owning our actions, even when they’re uncomfortable to face. I am not perfect, but I am committed to learning, evolving, and making better choices, because only through accountability can we unlock our true potential.
When we stop using “I am” as a shield and start using it as a tool for growth, we empower ourselves, and everyone around us, to do the same.
When I do not admit who I am, but declare that I know you better and behave as your personal spokesperson you never asked for, this is the perfect blend of self righteousness and deflection, because in this mindset, I am never wrong, and you are never right.
This is not a safe relationship to engage with then at this point. This is the ultimate power play, where a person can control the narrative, rewrite your thoughts, and then blame you for not living up to the version they have created of you. And when you push back, they get to play the victim, acting like you’re the one who’s trying to make them look bad when all in their own mind, they have done, is save you from yourself.
So here is a way to understand what I am talking about in a more satirical sense.
Oh, we’re masters at the selective "I am." I am hardworking when I crush a deadline, but when I miss it? Well, you are the one who didn’t remind me. I am generous because I tipped 20% this one time, but you are selfish for not splitting the bill exactly. It’s all about the optics, baby! We treat accountability like a selfie filter: slap it on when it flatters us, toss it when it doesn’t. Heaven forbid we admit, "I am the problem here," because then what would be left to polish our egos? Instead, we point the finger and go, “You are the reason I can’t deal with my life today,” while conveniently basking in our selective self praise.
Sure, let’s take accountability, but let’s make it performative enough to earn Instagram likes while dodging the actual work of being a decent human. The modern mantra "I am... not to blame unless it’s funny."
You are the reason the dishes aren’t done, even though I’ve walked past the sink six times today. You are inconsiderate for not texting me back, even though I ghosted you for a week because I refuse to learn how to articulate myself. And let’s not forget, you are dramatic for reacting to my passive aggressive comments, I mean, how dare you? It’s just so much easier to dump all my flaws on you than to confront them myself. Projecting my mess onto you is practically self care at this point. Why admit I’m flawed when I can play puppet master with your guilt instead? Honestly, you are exhausting for holding up that mirror.
End scene.
Instead of pointing out your flaws to mask mine, I believe I should acknowledge my shortcomings to inspire growth in both of us. I choose to say, I am responsible for how I show up here, and you are deserving of grace, encouragement, and understanding.
It’s a shift from competition to collaboration. When I take accountability, I create safety and I create space where you don’t have to defend yourself against my projections. And when I see the best in you, I remind myself that we’re both capable of change. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about me intentionally choosing connection over deflection.
What if we flipped the script entirely? Imagine saying, I am the one who made the mistake, but also, you are the one who inspired me to grow through it. I am responsible for my actions, but you are the reason I strive to be better. Shifting "I am" to own the struggles and "you are" to celebrate others could transform the way we connect. Vulnerability becomes strength, and acknowledgment becomes a gift.
By flipping this dynamic, we create a world where accountability and gratitude flow freely. Because when we stop deflecting and start reflecting, we build relationships rooted in trust and mutual respect. What if, instead of seeing flaws in others, we decided to see their potential? What if you are became a reflection of the best in them, not our worst fears? By choosing to believe in your goodness, I am inspired to become my best self. Accountability isn’t just owning up to my actions, it’s owning the responsibility to create a better space for both of us. I choose to take that step, not because it’s easy, but because it’s powerful.
When I take responsibility for myself, I create room to uplift you.
“I am” is the seed of transformation. These words hold the power to shape not just how we see ourselves but how we engage with the world. To say "I am" is to own your story, your growth, and your potential. It’s about standing in truth, embracing imperfections, and committing to evolve.
Accountability isn't a burden, it's liberation. When you take full ownership of who you are, you unlock the ability to rewrite your narrative and inspire others to do the same. "I am" is where empowerment begins.
Imagine the shift if we took "you are" and turned it into a mirror reflecting the best in others. Instead of blame, we say, you are resilient, you are capable, you are the light in this moment of darkness. Let’s replace deflection with encouragement and accountability with shared growth. If we inspire each other with “you are,” we build a culture of mutual empowerment.
No need for blame when we all rise together. Because when you uplift someone else, you remind them, and yourself, of what’s possible.
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